Day: October 1, 2020

Keep emotion out of itKeep emotion out of it

The nastiest situations happen not among enemies, but among the so called loved ones. Love means you’re willing to nurture another life, without forming opinions. It should be a relationship of nurture, not opinionated. 

These are not your loved ones, these are your extra limbs. You are not able to stand on two legs, so you need four or eight or twelve. These are extra limbs and when limbs are not well coordinated, they tangle up. 

There are four or five brains, four or five power centers in the home and for it to be well coordinated, certain things have to be done. One way of doing it is, with an enormous level of connectedness, not emotional. 

Emotional connectedness just brings dependency. Emotion is something to be enjoyed. It is the juice of life. You don’t make your emotions work. You should not make them work. You can make your thoughts work, you can make your body work, but don’t try to make your emotions work. 

Whenever you try to make your emotions work for you, your situations turn nasty, right? Yes or no? Initially “I love you” works. After some time, you’re trying to make emotions work for you. The harder you try to make it work, the nastier your life gets because emotion is not for work. Emotion is just to sweeten your life. Your thought and your body should work. Emotions – just there. 

It’s like a flower that you wear in your hair, nobody wears anymore. The flowers need not work, they are just there, that’s all. Emotion is like that. It’s just there pleasant and wonderful. If you try to make it work, if you try to extract some life from around you with your emotions, it is bound to turn ugly.

Let your walls downLet your walls down

If you have a tendency to keep your walls up, then you may want to work on being vulnerable. 

First practice with your friends and family, or a therapist being in a relationship. This means allowing someone to see you for all that you are. It’s the only way for someone to love you honestly.

But if you have a habit of holding back, you must work through your Fears and Trust issues before committing to someone. A healthy relationship is about two people being able to take risks and grow together. 

Being vulnerable means putting yourself in your partner’s shoes. It means not only being in touch with your own emotions but the emotions of your partner’s ,too. You’re essentially mindful of the pain or the stress that they’re going through. 

This will help you realize that maybe all they really need is a shoulder to cry on and not just the solution. 

Learn to let go of your control. If you have a strong leader personality, it may be difficult for you to give up the reins and allow your partners to take the initiative. In order to be vulnerable, you need to allow your partners to make decisions for both of you at times. If you don’t, you could seem dismissive or hard to approach in times of disagreements. 

Vulnerability is a good thing because it shows that you trust your partner so it’s good to let go every once in a while. 

Hold onto who you are without allowing shame or embarrassment stop you from being real. Maintain a strong sense of self and never feel as if you have to done yourself down or worry about being to nice.

It’s not easy to open up but the results and rewards are worth all the hard work.

Do you judge your lover?Do you judge your lover?

If you don’t have a working brain, if you’re not capable of thought then you try to use your emotions to make it work and it may work sometimes that’s the whole problem. It works initially and then you try to push it further, then your life turns so nasty. 

Among people who are supposed to care for each other. The nastiest situations happen not among enemies but among the so called loved ones. 

People have their opinions. If you love somebody, you should have no opinion that’s what love means. Love means you are willing to nurture another life without forming opinions that’s what love means. We are loved ones, we have strong opinions about each other.

No, that means you’re trying to fix life. An opinion is a way of fixing a person into a straitjacket. Love means nurturing a person into a new possibility. These two things cannot go together. 

You make some judgments for the moment to nurture it better. If you’re rearing children at home you have to make some judgments where the child is right now. To rear them to a next possibility, not form an opinion on him. The moment you form an opinion, you have no interest in nurturing that life into a new possibility. You only want to fix it in a shell of your opinion and you will be disappointed if it doesn’t go by your opinions. 

If you want to live closely with people, it should be a relationship of nurture, not opinionated. It will not work like that.